A foundation of positive discipline is to be kind and firm at the same time. Many parents know how to be kind — until they get upset. Then they know how to be firm without being kind. Some parents vacillate between the two — being kind until they can't stand their kids (who develop an entitlement attitude), and then being firm until they can't stand themselves (feeling like tyrants).
Putting kind and firm together is the challenge. One of my favorite examples of kind and firm at the same time is, "I love you, and the answer is no."
Another example is to validate a child's feelings and then allow her to recover from those feelings. "I can see you are very disappointed that you didn't get a better grade." Then comes the tough part — no rescuing and no lectures. Simply allow her to discover that she can get over her disappointment and figure out what might increase her chances of getting what she wants in the future.
Putting kind and firm together is the challenge. One of my favorite examples of kind and firm at the same time is, "I love you, and the answer is no."
Another example is to validate a child's feelings and then allow her to recover from those feelings. "I can see you are very disappointed that you didn't get a better grade." Then comes the tough part — no rescuing and no lectures. Simply allow her to discover that she can get over her disappointment and figure out what might increase her chances of getting what she wants in the future.
Adapted from Positive Discipline
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