Mindfulness

In kindergarten our last lesson of the year was on mindfulness.  I started by asking students if they know what mindfulness means.  Many students hit it spot on!  Mindfulness is all about being aware of your self and your emotions, being present.  When students are feeling big emotions, it's important for them to recognize what is happening in their body in order to take control.  I found this great, kid-friendly video that helps students recognize what happens to their body and uses a smart analogy of a bottle of sparkles being shaken up inside their brains.


After the video we discussed how their bodies feel when they are having a big emotion and what tips the video told us on how to regain control.  Then we practiced these strategies using two great videos on GoNoodle.  Both "Flow" and "Safe & Calm" guides students through the relaxation process.  Students enjoyed getting to lay down and close their eyes on the carpet!

Parents!  You can create a free, all access account on GoNoodle to do at home over the summer!  Check out the following information:

Lee Olympics: A Social Story

On Friday, May 1st we had our annual Lee Olympics.  Students rotate through different events and earn ribbons for participation and athletic achievement.  Since this is an all-day event, many students that are new to Lee or prone to anxiety might have some worries about Lee Olympics.  To ease their nerves, I create social story books for them to know what they expect.  I only include events that I know will happen in order to set them up for success.  Here's a sample of one book I made for a new kindergartener:

6th Graders Encouraging our Newest Test Takers

Each time spring rolls around the topic of our standardized test, STAAR, begins to enter the conversations of our students at Lee Elementary.  Since we have some resident experts on the ins & outs of what the STAAR test is really like, I thought it would be a good idea for them to impart their knowledge onto our newest test takers: 3rd graders!  I typed up a list of all of our 3rd graders and then our 6th graders picked 2-3 to write an encouraging letter to.  They could write encouraging words, test taking tips, confidence boosters and any idea that they thought would help lower their anxiety about testing.  We had a great conversation about empathy and tried to remember back to when it was our first time taking the STAAR test or even how we feel now about it.  Once all of the letters were all written onto colorful bordered stationary, I put them into an "Special Delivery" envelope from the White House (also our nickname for the house beside our school that 6th grade is housed in) and delivered them to their homeroom teachers for students to receive before the test.

Test-Taking Foldable

In third grade we began our talk about the STAAR test.  Each year students come in with many false rumors about STAAR that often catastrophize the situation.  I like to take time to explain the reality of STAAR, answer all of their questions and dispel any myths they've heard.  After our discussion, I like to read Hooray for Diffendoofer Day written by Dr. Seuss, with help by Lane Smith and Jack Prelutsky.  What's great about this book is that it puts a silly spin on standardized testing and it also commemorates the legacy of Dr. Seuss, who was unable to finish the book before his passing.  There is a second part in the back of the book that explains how this story came to be, showing his original rough drafts and drawings.

In the story students love their school, their teachers and all of the quirky things they are learning.  But one day their principal informs them that they will have to take a test in 10 minutes and if they do not perform well their school will close down.  Agh!  Worst case scenario!  I won't ruin the story, but there is a positive message that comes from it and our students always sigh in relief that our testing is nothing like theirs.

After the story we make test-taking foldables that students can use to remind them how to put their best foot forward.  I downloaded the template from Savvy School Counselor on TeachersPayTeachers and let the students be creative with the title for each tab.  Here are some of their completed tips:

Don't Break the Ice with Worries

Over Spring Break I was able to attend one of Pam Dyson's trainings on "Play Therapy for Grieving Children" through the DFW Center for Play Therapy Training.  I was truly inspired by all the directive techniques I could add to my toolbox for students at our school.  One such idea was the incorporation of the game "Don't Break the Ice" in such a simple and easy way.  Inspired by Sueann Kenney-Noziska's idea on Play Therapy Corner, Pam created an activity for children that helped open them up about their grief. Children knock pieces of ice out of the ice rink and answer questions based on which ice piece fell.  At this training the game was targeted at children opening up about their grief and loss, but I thought I could easily tweak it for my anxious kiddos.

It's extremely easy to create your own version and add therapeutic value.  The first step is taking all of the "ice" pieces and adding a colored sticker to the bottom of them.  Pam used those gold foil star stickers, I chose to use bright colored Avery circle labels because I had plenty of those on hand.  There are 32 total ice pieces and 1 large ice piece for the skater.  I decided upon 4 different prompts for our discussion about worries, so that evenly divided up the stickers into 8 per color.  On the large ice piece I put 1 of each color so they could pick.  When the ice is turned over for the game, students cannot tell which color is underneath the piece of ice.

Then I created the question card.  Instead of making 32 individual question cards, I chose to simplify our discussion to 4 prompts that could easily be answered numerous times.  You could definitely make a variety of questions and color-code the stacks of cards.  I thought about which 4 prompts would help students share/vent about their worries, discuss what happens in their body, receive validation, brainstorm helpful techniques for coping and also discover that other students had similar experiences.  This is what I came up with, you can download a copy here (don't forget to add colored stickers that are on your ice pieces):

The game was such a success we played it numerous times.  Students even came up with fun variations on the rules for when more than one ice piece fell.  Incorporating games into your work with children creates a safe and engaging platform to help them feel comfortable in opening up.  I hope you have as much fun with your children as I did!

Peace Area Training & Buffet

Our SEL Coach, Angela Bailey, and I hosted a training at our campus about the importance of Peace Areas.  We started with an informational PowerPoint that reinforced how easy it is to set one up in your classroom, then we finished with a Peace Area "Buffet" where teachers received all the materials needed to set up their very own Peace Area!

 

Our Peace Area Buffet!

Talking to Your Child About A Tragedy

Tragedies happen every day around us in our world, countries, cities and schools.  Addressing death and the emotions that accompany tragedy can make a profound, positive impact on our children.  Parents, counselors, teachers and other school staff are key adults in many students' lives.  We must be ready to meet this challenge with knowledge and skills that will best serve our children to cope with these sad experiences.

Challenges for adults discussing tragedy with children include:

• We are unsure what to say
• We are uncomfortable about it ourselves
• We feel the need to protect and shelter
• We believe talking about it will create fears/anxieties

Even if we fail to talk to children and youth about tragedy, they learn about it from the world around them.  These "learnings" don't always promote the best understandings.  Cartoons, books, movies, fairy tales and video games, all present tragedy as reversible and avoidable.  In cartoons, death is a fate that only happens to the "bad" guys.  Honesty is the best policy when discussing tragedy, yet we are often afraid we will say "the wrong thing." 

Here are some guidelines that are important to discuss when it comes to explaining tragedy:

1. Tell the truth.  Talk to your children about what happened in terms that are appropriate to their cognitive and developmental levels.  Accurate information is central to the child's ability to analyze events and draw personally relevant conclusions.
2. Avoid giving unnecessary information that would only serve to distress or confuse the child.  Young children think very concretely.  Therefore, explain concretely what happened.  Out of their own anxiety, children will need to talk about the tragedy.  If they don't have accurate information, they may distort the truth.
3. Allow for expression/affirm all expressions.  Offer your children the opportunity to share their feelings about the tragedy.  A child may say, "I'm glad it didn't happen to me."  That is a very honest response.  It should be affirmed, not as self-centered, but as honest.  If a child begins to cry, let them know that feeling sad at a time like this is very normal.  Crying over something that is very sad is different from acting like a baby.
4. Set aside time for written expressions for the bereaved family/children.  Notes, letters or pictures created for the bereaved children mean a great deal.  Screen these projects.  Children's anxiety and fear can result in insensitive expressions.
5. Plan for the bereaved children's return.  Guide your child in deciding what to say and how to act when the children return to school or activities within the community.  Although classmates and friends should not expect the bereaved children to want to talk about it, the subject should not be ignored.  In addition to a death in a family, it is devastating for the bereaved child to be abandoned by friends at school or community organizations, resulting in another loss.  Classmates and friends might acknowledge it with a statement like, "I'm glad you're back.  I am really sorry ___ happened" and then treat the children as they did before the tragedy.
6. This loss may remind your children of losses they have experienced.  They may need to tell and retell the story of what has happened to them.  This helps them process, piece by piece, until they form their own developmentally realistic understanding.
7. Maintain or assure daily activities and routines.  Regular activities help children pace their energy and feel safe.  Maintain rhythm, patterns and routines while tempering your expectations with kindness and understanding.

Please remember these difficult times affect everyone differently.  Please contact me if your child needs additional support coping with a loss.

11 Ways to Conquer Separation Anxiety in Children

11 Ways to Conquer Separation Anxiety in Children

Make Sure They Know What to Expect – Prepare your child for what will happen so that there are no surprises. Read books about school. Visit the playground. Talk to him about what it will be like. Let him know that you won’t be staying with him and how the drop off process goes.

Read Children’s Books – The Kissing Hand is a classic book and can be wonderful for young kids going to school for the first time. The Invisible String is also wonderful. It’s a great way to teach the concept of being connected even when we are physically separated.  **The counselor has both of these books in the office, if a family would like to borrow!

Sing a Goodbye Song or Have a Good Bye Saying - Another way to deal with separation anxiety is to have a special goodbye song or saying, after which the child knows they have to go. I like, “Goodbye for Now, Hello Again Later!” Or, try “The Kissing Hand” yourself –  kiss the palm of your child’s hand, and they will know your love is close by!  They can kiss yours too in case you start to miss them!

Wear A Special Bracelet or Carry a Special Token– One thing that might help is if your child wears a bracelet for her parents to remind her that they are thinking about her. Some kids like to carry a token in their pocket, or a hankerchief sprayed with mom’s perfume. They may also like to carry a picture. For some children, this is comforting.

Plan “3 Special Steps” – On the show “Special Agent Oso”, James Bond-type friendly bear uses ‘three special steps’ to solve problems and do basic tasks, such as getting dressed or making a salad. The 3 special steps is something you can use and adapt it for just about any situation that causes anxiety. Talk about the situation before it happens, and then give small tasks to focus on while it is happening. Step one: Get in the car and drive to school. Step two: Walk in to class. Step three:  Say ‘hello’ to teacher and start your day!

Check Your Emotions – Parents should try to be as positive as possible during drop off, too. Kids definitely sense parents’ anxiety and sadness, and this can make the transition into the classroom even more difficult for the child.

Let Them Walk In – Act confident and be joyful for your child! If you are hesitant of letting go kids WILL pick up on that. Make sure they walk into school; when they are carried in it might send the message that you are hesitant.

Don’t Go In the Classoom –  It helps if parents don’t walk into the classroom during the first few weeks of school. It helps delineate home from school. It also really helps with separation for both parents and children and makes the transition so much easier for the children. Yes, there are tears sometimes, but not nearly as often when parents walk into the classroom the first week or so of school. Likewise, it may be easier to have the child get on the bus.

Don’t Linger – Before departing from the door, give a quick kiss or hug, maybe a silly song or funny handshake to say goodbye, but don’t linger. And if your child is crying, know that 99% of the time kids are feeling better and actively engaged in the classroom within moments.

Give Praise – Rewards! Try a “No Cry Goodbye” Punch Card or Sticker Chart for your child and reward them!  Not only do things like ice cream or a special toy work for making it to the car without tears, to the classroom without tears and through the day/week, but VERBAL rewards. Silly celebrations and top of your lungs ‘YOU DID IT’s’ 

Try A Transition Activity - In situations where all other tricks and tips have been tried, work with the teacher or counselor so that your child has a task/job/privilege to complete immediately upon getting to school. That becomes the transition activity and something to look forward to in focusing on rather than dreading the separation.

Tears & Cheers

Wilma Jean Worry Machine

With the end of the school year looming, many students are developing worries about the future.  Their support system at school will be on vacation until August, their daily routine during the week will get mixed up, they won't see their classmates every day, they might go on vacation to new places, etc.  I thought this would be a perfect time to read Wilma Jean Worry Machine by Julia Cook to our first graders.  This book illustrates how a young girl catastrophizes her day, only to find that nothing goes wrong and everything goes right.  We learn again and again that things work out for her, but she still continues to worry about the unknown.  We all model her "pickle face" that she makes when she worries, and I enjoyed one students comment of how much I must be worried because I have a lot of wrinkles like Wilma Jean...

In the middle of the story I pause and ask students to write down one worry they might be having on a post-it.  It could be a worry they have today, a worry about the future, a worry about second grade, any worry works!  After they wrote down their worry, I had them place it on the chart (just as Wilma does in the story) to describe it as a worry they can control or a worry they cannot control.  Worries we can control are flexible, like playdough.  There are things we can do to make them better or prevent them.  Worries we cannot control are more like rocks.  No matter what we do, they can't be changed - like the weather, for example.

Most students start by putting their worries at the bottom of the chart, stating that they cannot control them.  However, as we start discussing what we can control about each worry with suggestions from our classmates, the post-its start moving to the top of the chart just like Wilma's do in the story. 

For example, what if we don't like the lunch that is served in the cafeteria?  Well, we can take home a lunch menu to know what lunch will be ahead of time.  We also can pack a lunch from home if it's something we don't like to eat.  By focusing on the little things that we have control over, the worry begins to shrink and not matter so much.

Teamwork: Cup Stack Take 2

Last year the cup stack was one of my FAVORITE team building activities (see post here).  So, naturally, I wanted to give it another shot!  The Cup Stack is a fun, yet challenging activity that promotes team work.  The supplies are basic: cups, string, rubber bands.  I go ahead and tie the string to the rubber bands so it is ready to go.  I make a few for groups of 4 and a few for groups of 5, this way no matter what the numbers are in the classroom I can make it work.

I start by asking students what teamwork is.  What does it look like? sound like? feel like?  We brainstorm a list of ideas that I hang in the classroom for students to refer to.  Each class comes up with a variety of ideas, but they all center around the same theme.

Then I introduce their challenge.  I start off my admitting that this will be a frustrating activity.  We discuss ways to handle our stress and feelings that arise when others make a mistake or don't do what we want them to do.  I model that they will each be given 6 cups and a rubberband with strings attached to it.  Their job is to stack the cups into a design by only holding onto their individual string.

I demonstrate that when everyone pulls on their string the rubberband opens wider, and vice versa.  I also show them the challenges of picking up a cup that has tipped on its side or fallen on the floor.  No matter what happens, they must follow the one rule: YOU CAN ONLY TOUCH YOUR STRING.  No touching the rubber band, no touching the cup, and no touching other group member's strings.  I reinforce how communication is so important in order to reach the goal.  Then I set them off.  Here are some videos and pics.

 

After about 10-15 minutes, we pause and reflect on our experiences.  I ask them to rate their group on how well they worked together using the ideas we wrote at the beginning of the lesson.  I ask them what went well for their group.  I also ask them what didn't go well for their group.  We talk about different strategies and ways we an handle ourselves when things don't go the way we want them to.  Throughout the activity I walk around and facilitate positive communication, so I usually have a few examples to help springboard the discussion.