Armadillo Tattletales

Every year I read A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue by Julia Cook to our second graders, reinforcing the difference between tattling and reporting.  This year our first graders are in desperate need of this lesson but I can't bring myself to take away this second grade tradition!  I know, it's silly.  So after a few minutes of research, I stumbled upon the story Armadillo Tattletale by Helen Ketteman.  Not only does it touch on tattling, it also includes an important lesson about being noisy too.

The first graders really enjoyed the silliness of the story, and were a little appalled at one part (with the alligator) but they enjoyed the tale and understood the message.  To reinforce and evaluate if they truly understood the difference between which information they should report to an adult and which information they should keep to themselves and try to resolve independently, I had a fun activity planned. I typed up different scenarios and printed them onto post-its (you can download the template here) with a cute picture of an armadillo.  Then I blindfolded each student (with my Viking hat, of course!) and spun them around before they attempted to place the scenario as a reporting situation or a tattling situation.

Itchy Itchy, Scratchy Scratchy: Tattle Tongue!

One infamous request from our second grade teachers at the beginning of the school year is Tattle Tongue by Julia Cook.

This is a hilarious story that helps students recognize the differences between tattling and reporting.  Through the missteps of Josh, we learn when we should speak up and when we can handle the problem on our own.  We are introduced to the Tattle Prince who goes through the 4 rules for tattling - rules for tattling?!?! - yes, there are even rules for tattling.  These rules and helpful charts are posted for students to use and be proactive about solving their conflicts:

Students demonstrate their knowledge of the difference between when to report and when it would be tattling by reading potential scenarios and coloring them appropriately:

Then they decorate their own Tattle Tongue bookmark to reinforce the skills:

 

How do YOU Decide it it's Bullying or Teasing

I really enjoyed this blog post by blogger Hilary on Pulling Curls!  I think we all have to be careful with which word to use with our children, in addition to determining if it's something harmful or just something they don't like.  What do you think???

How do YOU Decide if it's Bullying or Teasing!

"I had gum put in my hair.  I had glasses and REALLY frizzy hair, a giant retainer and then braces.  Life wasn't pretty back then.  I wouldn't say it's especially pretty now... but I hope you get the picture. :)

I seriously need a picture of me when I was about 12.... I'm going to work on that.

Anyway, I learned how to know that I was good and OK.  I didn't need my mom to fight my battles.  I didn't need to care what everyone thought.  Here's a newsflash, people still tease me now.  Most of the time I know if I dish it, I need to take it -- but sometimes my dander gets up.  Which, of course, is a shame since I am allergic to dander.

But, I digress.

I see posts on Facebook about people's kids being bullied by being called names or not being played with at recess.

And I just don't think that's bullying.  When I think bullying, I think the kid in A Christmas Story that comes and pounds that kid like crazy until he's bleeding.

Of course, that's an extreme.

I would say that my mother dander hasn't particularly gone up for my kids.  Sure, they get called names and feel like no one is playing with them.  Sure, I get called names and I sometimes feel like no one is playing with me.  Because I live with imperfect humans who are trying to be funny and survive in their own way.  I have learned to become a duck, and let the water slide right off.

Are we raising kids without their duck skin?  Are we raising kids who allow each bit of water to enter their skin and weaken them a bit?

For me, when my kids have complaints of "bullying" (and they too have found this to be a "key" word and sometimes use it).  I come back with these:

1.  How was your day? -- sometimes your day is just rotten, so whatever anyone does you feel like you're being bullied by life and that person just put a face to the bully.  It's understandable.  I sing them Let It Go -- often in my amazing opera voice. :)

2.  I ask them if that is someone they value?  I mean, if someone I could care less about says something mean to me -- I don't really care.  They need to decide whose opinions they value.  You can't value everyone's, because we're all so different.  I am learning this as I get more comments on my blog.  Someone called me ignorant about healthcare last week.  It got my dander up.  {let it go}

3.  I ask them if what they said is true?  Like, if they smell -- have they not taken a shower?  Positive peer pressure rocks!  That's not bullying, that's GETTING MY KIDS TO SHOWER.  Thank you!

4.  I give them a hug.  Sometimes you just need a hug and that makes it fine.  Sometimes I just need a hug.  I know how that feels.

5.  I evaluate it.  I'm not saying that there isn't bullying.  But I find bullying to be consistent, VERY mean spirited, often physically harmful or at least emotionally quite harmful.  And then it might be time to act.  Every situation there is different, I am sure your mom-sense {similar to spider sense} will react in a way that you KNOW something is wrong.  A lot of the time I only have one side of the story and I will query his teacher to find out the other side of the story.  She often knows the truth and already has a handle on the situation.

Anyway, those are my thoughts?  What do you think?  Do you think bullying has become a "code" word for anything your kid doesn't like?  Turns out I bully my kids into cleaning their room every day.  That's just how I am.  Deal with it kiddos!"

Original link to article:

http://www.pullingcurls.com/2014/05/how-do-you-decide-if-its-bullying-or.html

Is It Bullying? What Is It?

Bullying is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days when anything goes wrong between peers.  It is our job to make sure students understand what constitutes bullying in order for them to use it appropriately when uncomfortable or unsafe circumstances arise.

With my fourth graders I handed out a quick 10-question true/false survey to find out what they already knew about bullying:

Then I created a chart, inspired by fellow blogger Mrs. Sinclair, that clearly identified the differences between teasing, conflict, a mean moment and bullying.  You can download a copy of it here.

After discussing this, I elaborated further on the definition of bullying by using Savvy School Counselor's "The A, B, C, and D of Bullying" poster:

I called out different scenarios and had each table discuss and come to consensus on where it feel on the chart.  We spent time debating and advocating for where it would best fit under by utilizing the criteria for each.  Some examples included: 

• Martin called Tom a freak.
• Each morning Sam tells Jarod he has to let him copy his homework or Sam will embarrass him in front of the whole class
• Sue rolled her eyes at Kendra when she walked into the room
• Every day at lunch Sarah tells Joan whom she can sit with at lunch

Finally, we went through the original bullying survey to see how accurate we were and if we had any further questions.  I made students a copy of both the handouts as well as printing out a color poster of each for the teacher to post in the room.

MYOB: Mind Your Own Beeswax

The second grade teachers specially requested this lesson and I moved it to a top priority.  Second grade is a time where students begin to look outside of themselves and observe others' choices around them...and TATTLE!  Last year Julia Cook's A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue was a huge hit so I gave it another try.

It chronicles a typical day in Josh's life.  He tattles on everyone, even his dog.  His mother gets fed up with his tattling and warns him that he'll catch tattle tongue if he continues to tattle on others.  The next day at school he hears about a bully threatening to beat up Edith, a friend of his.  Josh remembers what his mom said and chooses not to say anything...which in this case would have been reporting.  The Tattle Prince visits him later that night to go over the "tattle rules" - yes, there are tattle rules - with him.

 

Students learn the difference between tattling and warning/reporting by following these 4 simple rules.  To reinforce this concept, we created our own tattle tongue bookmarks using tongue depressors, sharpies, glue and glitter.

Students evaluated and determined which situations would be tattling and which would be reporting/warning by color-coding the spots on a tongue.  

I also posted 2 helpful posters in each of the 2nd grade classrooms for students to refer to if they were stuck.

Empathy

What is Empathy?

Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes.  Feeling what they feel, seeing what they see, hearing what they hear.  Second grade is a great year to begin discussions about empathy because students are developmentally becoming less egocentric and willing to think outside of themselves. Here is a great visual for reinforcing this idea:

I started by reviewing the I Messages (see blog post here) we've practiced in the past.  Then I introduced the Empathic Response.  When friends are trying to solve conflict and let us know what is going on with them, it is important for us to listen carefully and restate what they are experiencing in order to help solve the problem.  Here is the Empathic Response poster to help with phrasing your statement to show your understanding:

Afterward we read one of my favorite books, The Scrambled States of America by Laurie Keller.  I was lucky enough to meet her a few years ago when she visited an elementary school I taught at.  She writes and illustrates her own stories, and the little details she adds excite readers.  

In this story, the state Kansas is unhappy and decides to plan a party and invite all of the states.

At the party they come up with the idea to switch places.

Well, as you can see from above, they are all excited at first.  But then conflict starts to occur.  As each of the states begin to complain, we stopped and came up with I Messages and Empathic Responses the states could use to communicate effectively with each other.

After the story I gave students a packet full of the different state pictures.  They picked two states to have a conflict, glued them to their paper, and wrote out a conversation between them using I Messages and Empathic Responses.

  

How Big is the Problem?

As the school year has progressed, I have noticed a pattern developing with my fourth graders.  Most days when they come in from their morning recess a line starts forming outside my office of students furiously writing requests to see me.  If they see me in my office I am occassionally attacked by an angry mob. :)  In looking at the sheet I record my self-referral requests, the column of fourth graders seems to reach the bottom of the page while other grade levels are still hovering at the top.  I decided it was time to step back and use my next guidance lesson to re-evaluate when it's time to seek out the counselor.  Inspired by Social Communication Services with Mrs. Cardenas, I found the perfect way to solve this growing problem of my own!

I started off with shocking news.  I would not be there to help them with their problems for the rest of their life.  I know, very sad. :(  Some kids were shocked...others were like, "Duh!"  I will be here for them while they continue through Lee Elementary, I will be here for them when they come back to visit, but once they've moved onto high school/college/real life - they are going to have to depend on themselves to find the resources they need.  I reviewed some of the lessons we've worked on throughout the year and how I've been preparing them to solve conflict on their own for these dangerous times that lie ahead in the future.

I then introduced the Problem Scale to them.  The Problem Scale can help us evaluate how big our problem is.  Is it a glitch on the radar or a small problem (0-3)?  These can be handled on our own without adult assistance.  Is it a medium problem (4-6)?  These can be attempted & be successful or attempted & need additional assistance.  Or is it a big problem (7-10)?  Big problems = See Ms. Sepp immediately.  I passed out 2 post-its to each student and had them anonymously record  2 separate problems that they have encountered or heard of a friend encountering.  It needed to be a recent problem, but it could have happened anywhere.  Students took a few minutes to brainstorm, and then they stuck their post-its onto the Problem Scale based on how large they felt their problem was.

Once all students had posted, we went through the post-its together and decided if we agreed or disagreed on where it was placed.

The smaller problems included things such as losing your pencil, whereas the bigger problems included things such as my parents are fighting.  Most post-its we moved a little bit up or down the Problem Scale after discussion, but there were definitely ones that were perfectly placed.  I did reinforce that we all handle problems differently and only we are in charge of how we feel.  What might roll right off someone's back might feel like the end of the world to us - and vice versa.  I also shared with them that when I have 15+ requests to see me, it becomes a waiting list that could go on for weeks.  I want to be there for them to listen and problem solve, but the sheer number of self-referrals prevents me from getting to everyone in a timely manner.  Going forward I asked them to use the Problem Scale before they fill out a request to meet with me.  Ask your teachers for help and report to them while you're out at recess because they are here to help with those medium-sized problems.  Think about which problems are small and can be solved on your own.  This way when you really need me, I can be there for you asap! :)

Cyberbullying Presentation

On March 22 we were lucky to invite an amazing speaker come talk to our 5th & 6th graders about cyberbullying.  Reggie Cajayon, School Safety Specialist from the Texas School Safety Center at Texas State University, brought to life an important safety message that continues to surface at schools across the country.  He presented a hands-on, engaging, and interactive way to educate students on what is cyberbullying (what it includes), the effects of cyberbullying (for both the victim and the bully), and steps to take if cyberbullied or know of cyberbullying (who to report to, etc.).  Students left feeling safe with what steps they need to take to prevent the threat of online predators and bullying.

 

Although Lee Elementary does not have a widespread issue, even one incident is one too many.  We are enlisting our families to help monitor online activities.

What to Monitor:

• Online Gaming/Chatting: Game systems (Xbox, Playstation, Wii, etc)

• Laptops & Social Websites
• Grades K-2: Disney, Webkins, Poptropica etc
• Grades 3-5 – Facebook, Gmail, Yahoo! Groups, MySpace, Twitter, Askme.fm
• Cell Phones, iTouch, iPad ‘Apps’ (Instagram, etc)

How To Monitor:

• Know the minimum user age recommendations for all sites
• Read up on the American Academy of Pediatrics policy on media use:

            http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/126/4/791.full.html

• Password protect all screens in house (TV, computer or internet devices, cell phones)
• If children use technology, teach them to keep passwords secure and log-in where others can’t see or learn the password.
• Know the safety measures to prevent access or bloc inappropriate content
• Be cautious about your own social media habits.  Status updates, twittering details about daily activities, and “checking in” at locations leaves you vulnerable.  Children will want to do what you do when they get their own accounts.  Bullies and/or predators rely on posted information when they hunt for targets.
• Maintain full parent access to all student use of email, phone and computer
• Routinely log-in to see what persona your child projects when using technology
• Talk about the short-term and long-term effects of what is posted online.

How to Intervene

• If the privilege is being abused or is the source of too much distraction, remove the device or the power source.
• Tell them to “Stop, Print & Tell” if they receive something that makes them uncomfortable
• Contact social network providers to access the full range of options available to you to safeguard your child and his/her information.
• If you have a concern off-campus, call Austin Police Department by dialing “3-1-1”, the non-emergency line.  Call “9-1-1” if you fear a threat or imminent harm is involved.

 What is Lee Elementary Doing?

• Guidance lessons on building relationships, practicing social emotional skills, lessons on bullying, decision making, tattling vs. reporting, conflict resolution, and internet safety
• “No Place For Hate” Campus – Promoted by the Anti-Defamation League to conduct annual building-wide activities that combat bullying, violence, including student-signed “Resolution of Respect”
• 5th & 6th Grade Cyberbullying Presentation
• Staff Training - Cyberbullying and bullying prevention, reporting incidents, prevention, internet safety

We all work hard to raise children who grow into caring, thoughtful adults.  They make mistakes in the process and hopefully learn along the way.  However, the permanence of words and images in cyberspace adds intensity and longevity to the consequences. 

For more information go to:

http://archive.adl.org/education/cyberbullying

http://www.webwise.ie/AskFMExplained.shtm

US Dept. of Health and Human Services: 

http//www.stopbullying.gov/

Center for disease Control: “Electronic Media and Youth Violence”:

http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/EA-brief-a.pdf

Also check out my tab on Cyberbullying and Internet Safety with links to games, activities, and resources.

 

Thank you for your partnership in helping to keep all children safe.

Bullying Basics

In second grade we are reviewing the basics of bullying.  I found this great video clip that clearly explains the characteristics of bullying:


Afterward we illustrated our own version of the bullying journal the artist compiled.  I chose a few big ideas from the video and created a mini-book for students to share their smarts.  The could continue in the style of the video, or add color and use different characters.  Here are a couple pages that I enjoyed...