Habit 2 — Begin with the End in Mind
Have a Plan
I plan ahead and set goals. I do things that have meaning and make a
difference. I am an important part of my classroom and contribute to my
school’s mission and vision. I look for ways to be a good citizen.
We began this weeks lesson by reviewing what they remembered from Sean Covey's book about Habit 2. I followed up with an inspirational video created by the Kahn Academy called "You Can Learn Anything."
Students loved the idea that we all start at "0" and we must learn everything through our experiences and our mistakes. I shared a graphic of famous failures to extend our discussion on how we all face obstacles in our life and it's how we choose to handle them that makes all the difference.
I then had students complete a series of activities compiled by Rachael Wallace form TeachersPayTeachers (link here) The first was a survey on if they are a "go-getter" or a "day dreamer." Armed with this information, we created a Wish List of things they were interested in achieving.
After teaching them how to write a SMART goal, they picked one thing off of their wish list to turn into a SMART goal.
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Timely
Here are some example pages from 2 students:
Goal: Apple Laptop
Goal: Pogo Stick
In fifth grade, the classroom teachers and I are piggy-backing off of each other to reinforce Sean Covey's The Seven Habits of Healthy Kids. This book emphasizes 7 habits that help children be happy, successful individuals in our world.
The 7 habits include:
- Be Proactive
- Begin with the End in Mind
- Put First Things First
- Think Win-Win
- Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
- Synergize
- Sharpen the Saw
Each week the teachers read a different chapter of the book and discuss the habit with their students. The following week I come into the classroom and reinforce the habit through a series of activities.
The first habit we began with was "Be Proactive."
You're in Charge
I am a responsible person. I take initiative. I choose my actions,
attitudes, and moods. I do not blame others for my wrong actions. I do
the right thing without being asked, even when no one is looking.
I came in carrying two bottles: a soda bottle and a water bottle. I started by saying that sometimes things go wrong, and we feel shaken up. For example, I might hit snooze on my alarm clock and arrive tardy to school (shake soda bottle). I might drop my school books while I'm switching classes (shake soda bottle a little more). I might forget to bring my homework back to school (shake soda bottle even more). All of these things could easily knock us off of our game. As a result, we might explode on someone or something (pretend to open soda bottle). After all the "ooooo's" and "aaaaaa's", I explained that this is called being reactive. Has this ever happened to you? What happened and why? Was this a good way to let go of all of your feelings? Why or why not?
Next, I went through the same scenarios but instead with shaking a water bottle. When I went to open it students immediately know nothing was going to happen. I explained that this is called being proactive. When we are proactive, we make a choice about how we will react to the things that happen in our lives. We might get shaken up or mad, but we stay calm and don't explode. Is it hard to stay calm (like a water bottle) even when things don't go our way? Why or why not? What steps can we take to be more proactive and calm when things aren't going well?
I then passed out a short quiz to help students figure out if they tend to be more reactive or proactive.
We discussed ways to be more proactive, one of which being aware of what we have control of in our lives. When we focus on things we CAN control, we are being more proactive. When we focus on things OUTSIDE our control, we are being more reactive.
I gave students a blank organizer and they brainstormed the many things they do and do not have control over in their lives. After sharing out, our discussion focused on changing how we handle things. We can make a choice to be positive and focus on those things that we CAN change.
To spread the ideas in Sean Covey's 7 Habits of Happy Kids, I found a different approach with my fourth graders. While perusing online I came across Allison's Counseling Corner and a blog entry about how she used a biography to help students connect to the idea of being proactive in our lives. I liked how she found a book that showed the struggles and obstacles the character had to face in real life.
I decided to read the book Wilma Unlimited written by Kathleen Krull. In this story we follow the life of Wilma Rudolph as she battles sickness, polio, learning to walk, criticism, and racism to become a successful 3-time Gold Medalist in the 1960 Olympics.
After discussing the story, we began to acknowledge the differences between being proactive (focusing on what you can control) and reactive (focusing on things you have no control over). Using Wilma as a model, we could easily see how she didn't let the hardships get her down because she channeled her energy into herself.
Students then thought of ways that they could focus on the positive in their own lives. What kind of things typically ruin their day? What control can they have in the conflict? What do they enjoy doing and want to do more of? What dreams and aspirations do they have? How do they usually respond to a problem and what could they do different to be more proactive?
An example I provided was driving to work in the morning. I have no control over other people's schedules. I cannot make them get out of the way and get rid of traffic. Even if I honk, I still can't make them speed up or move. But what I can control is how I respond to the traffic. I can choose to not let it bring me down and frustrate me by leaving a little earlier from my house, turning up the music and singing along, and just enjoying some time alone. When we focus on what we have control over, we don't let other people or things control us.
Students filled their ideas in the Olympic rings and drew illustrations to describe how they will try to be more proactive in their lives.
In second grade we read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. In this story, Alexander blames everything and everyone for anything that goes wrong for him. He keeps repeating that he wishes he could go to Australia to get away from his problems.
After reading the story, we began a discussion about being proactive vs. being reactive.
- Was Alexander’s response to waking up, slipping on his skateboard and falling proactive or reactive? What would’ve been a proactive response?
- Was Alexander’s response to his friend, Paul deserts him to be his third best friend and there is no dessert in his lunch proactive or reactive? What would’ve been a proactive response?
- Was Alexander’s response Nick says he is a crybaby for crying, and Mom punishes him in the act of punching Nick proactive or reactive? What would’ve been a proactive response?
Each student received a blank handout with two circles drawn on it. We talked about the things in our lives that we have control over and wrote them in the center circle. Then we talked about the things in our lives that we do not have control over and wrote them in the outer circle. Students had many questions and "what-ifs" about this theory.
When we focus on what we can control, ourselves, then we take the steps to PAUSE (breathe and calm down), THINK (what are some way I can respond), and CHOOSE (pick a strategy that might work and see what happens). When we focus on things we cannot control, everything else in the world, we become reactive and immediately respond - which usually results in a consequence.
We can't control how others respond to us. We can't control how events
unfold. We can't control that whether a sibling breaks our toy, whether
a traffic light turns red, or whether a new day dawns. If we're
honest, we'll admit that we can't control much. If we're really honest, we'll admit that we enjoy control. Knowing my limitations allows me to focus on the one thing I can
control: my response. Can I choose kindness? Understanding?
Patience? Can I model this for my students? Can I talk them through
the process of making good choices with what they can control?
For example, let's say someone cuts in front of you in line. We do not have control over their body. We did not move them in front of us. But we can control ourselves and how we respond to this situation. First, we can pause and take a deep breath. Then, we can think about ways to respond - ignore it, push them, give an "I Message", etc. Finally, we decide what is the best choice for us and try it.
Each student received a card to remind them of the problem solving steps with the Australian flag on one side and the proactive steps on the other side. Classrooms teachers have a small poster hanging in each of their rooms to remind students.
