Don't Bite the Hook!

In an effort to continue our conversation from last time, we read Simon's Hook written by
Karen Gedig Burnett.

This story is a great way to teach students how to respond to teasing or put-downs that might have hurt their feelings.  It follows a young boy that is repeatedly teased at the park and learns from his grandma how to not "bite the hook."  The message empowers students to avoid becoming the powerless victim of name calling and mean teasing.  Many times children get so involved with their own emotional reaction to a tease that they react impulsively, rewarding the teaser with entertaining reactions that accentuates their feelings of loss of control and power.  This hilarious take provokes lots of giggling as the fish learn to not take the bait with different responses:

After the story students wrote a letter to Kelso, who had a similar problem to our friend in the story:

 

From Grandma Rose (character in the story):

"When teased, children sometimes fall into a habit of feeling hurt, upset, and victimized. How can we help them break this pattern and learn more effective ways to handle these difficult times? Simon's Hook can help. First, children can get so involved with the emotion of the tease that they react instinctively rather than recognize that often the sole purpose of the tease is to get a reaction. Simon's Hook compares teases to 'fishing hooks' and promotes the idea of swimming free. This offers children a different and more objective view of the teasing process. 

Next, sometimes when children are teased they don't think they have options - they have to bite. When people believe they have few options they feel powerless, stuck, or controlled by others. Simon's Hook shows children many ways to swim around the hook. They see they are not powerless, they have many choices. 

And last, Simon's Hook concentrates on the actions of the fish, rather than the hooks or the fishermen. This encourages children to focus on their own attitude and behavior, the only part of the interaction they control. Complaining about the other person's behavior, the cruel hook or the unfair situation is counterproductive and only leads to feelings of helplessness and self pity. By focusing on their own actions children can begin to recognize the power they have, their personal power. Personal power is not about power over someone else or the situation, but power over ourselves; our attitude, our actions, our life. An empowered attitude is instrumental in a person's ability to solve problems throughout life. 

You can help too. After reading Simon's Hook you can help children recognize their choices and personal power by simply asking a question or making a comment. 

 Did you bite?

 Someone's been fishing.

 Did someone throw a hook at you?

 Oh, and you bit.

 How can you swim free?

 How could you avoid that hook?

 I see a hook.

 Were you caught?

 The fish are biting today.

Encourage your child to see himself or herself as a strong and free fish with many choices, no matter what hooks the other person uses. 

Karen Gedig Burnett 
a.k.a. Grandma Rose 

P.S. Children learn much by observing adults. How do you handle conflicts? When you're driving and someone yells at you, do you 'bite'? When someone directs a cruel comment toward you, do you get 'hooked'? Since 'actions speak louder than words,' make sure you act like a 'strong, free fish' and don't bite at other people's negative behavior."